“It took a while to notice, but Westfield has been arranged very carefully to separate out different classes of customer. The Shepherd’s Bush corner with its jellyfish Village is for aspiring Mayfair types. The upper mall with its photogenic glass ceiling is for the middle classes with money to spend. And the lower mall, particularly in the Wood Lane corner, is for ordinary folk more used to High Street chains and bog standard outlets.”—diamond geezer
With Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind being one of my all-time favourite films, the scientific breakthrough of this story appeals to me. And yet, I can’t help fearing that the mice might have selective memories of cheese erased. Which would be unbearably cruel.
"Popular conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh has referred to Mr Obama as the ‘little black man-child’ and Fox News has called his wife, Michelle Obama, his ‘baby-mama’." I’m both worried and sickened now.
Hello. It appears that the broken RSS feed for this Tumblr (I didn’t touch it, I swear! I didn’t touch it!) is now working again. I have no idea what happened there, but apologies if you’ve been missing the characteristic mix of links with bad-tempered sarcastic comments, pictures of cute fluffy animals, obscure music and products involving fonts that I really shouldn’t be considering purchasing. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. My RSS reader of choice tells me that you have 20 entries to catch up on, so I would politely suggest that you get on with it.
“Complaining about Oasis’s lyrics seems rather like shooting fish in a barrel, or as Gallagher would doubtless have it, shooting fish in a barrel/ with a man called Darryl/ singing a carol/ in American Apparel. Suffice to say there’s a chorus that advises you to “shake your reptile” - Crocodile? Snake? Tortoise? - and that the younger Gallagher brother has developed a weird tic of continually reminding you that you’re listening to a song, as if concerned you might think you’re listening to a lecture on particle physics”—Oasis, Dig Out Your Soul
“Girl #1: Is it wrong to use IM as my preferred medium for argument with a boyfriend because I am a writer and, between you and me, I am much quicker than him there and I rather enjoy it?”—almost literary: Quote of the Day
"Whether ‘audio preview’ will make any difference to someone whose entire comment reads “rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” (actual comment from featured video) is to be seen." We can only live in hope that some of the stupidest people in the whole of our online society will finally realise the error of their ways.
Headline of the day. You can’t help but love - in a slightly strange way - those former rock stars who give up snorting cocaine from groupies’ breasts to become country bumpkin types. Oh, and his Blue Monday cheese apparently tastes “very moist, very gooey, spicy with quite a mellow flavour with sweet notes”. I’m off to Sainsbury’s.
Just in case you were beginning to feel even a little bit good about the world this weekend morning, here’s another example of how low the human race can sink: “Shaun Dykes, 17, from Kilburn, fell to his death from the top of the Westfield Centre multi-storey in Derby on 27 September, as onlookers shouted ‘jump’.”
“This is the Wartime Broadcasting Service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons. Communications have been severely disrupted, and the number of casualties and the extent of the damage are not yet known. We shall bring you further information as soon as possible. Meanwhile, stay tuned to this wavelength, stay calm and stay in your own homes.”—BBC nuclear bomb script released
“OK, OK, so the banking industry is collapsing and by December we’ll all be taking turns sleeping on Alistair Darling’s sofa and scientists are building a black hole that will suck the entire universe into Switzerland as if Geneva was some bottomless cosmic plughole (which actually it is, I’ve been) and the USA is toying with electing a woman who doesn’t believe in dinosaurs or rocks and thinks all moose are Al-Qaeda sympathisers who must be taken out one-by-one”—danger: void behind door
“Despite the challenges of those with bona fide autism, its functional male variant can feel like the only behavioural show in town. The mobile phone template text function is its greatest indication. A friend recently demanded help in composing a new generic message. We settled on: “Hi, I actually quite like you. However, I do not want any contact for a month without being forced to discuss matters. That said, I reserve the right to continue having intercourse with you on my return.”—Hannah Betts: Six is my obsessive digit
“In fact, as one colleague of mine said, after a few evenings’ viewing, it was so good that it had brought the general invisibility of disabled people on screen and in the media crashing home to her. Every four years comes a two-week period in which we see disability on screen - a partial representation, of course, since by no means all disabled people are remotely interested in sport, and people with learning disabilities are shamefully excluded - but a strong representation nonetheless. And then, once it has finished, what follows? Next to nothing.”—Kira Cochrane asks what the Paralympics says about the visability of disability in the media