Disco Inferno: Next Year - from the ground-breaking but criminally ignored 1994 album, DI Go Pop. The sound of a future that still hasn’t happened, and will probably continue to elude us in 2010, some sixteen years after this was recorded. Sigh.
"Britain has been given a warning by Iran’s foreign minister that it will ‘get slapped in the mouth’ if it does not ‘stop the nonsense’."
This is undoubtedly the best ever introduction to a BBC News story, not least because it makes it sound like international relations have now descended to the level of drunken haranguing outside a city centre pub at chucking-out time.
Needless to say, the UK government has responded by telling Iran to stop eyeing up its bird, and offering it outside to the car park to sort this out like real men.
“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”—Dorothy Parker (via devilduck) (via samsaramotel)
The Delgados: I Fought The Angels - “Run conversations in my head, write my own scripts to dish the dread. And if I speak out loud I will have to change the rules, for speaking’s out of bounds if it’s practised by a fool …”
A victory for the anti-Cowell brigade. And a bloody good thing it is, especially since the winner of this year’s talentless competition looks about 12 years old. Righteous indignation with the endless pop pap churned out by The X Factor wins out over yet another dreary ballad about lurve. As for me, well, I must confess that I’m not really much of a fan of baseball-capped men with peculiar facial hair shouting their way through dreary rock-rap crossovers that aren’t at home to Mr Tune. Always makes me think of Limp Bizkit (and I shuddered as I was forced to type that word incorrectly). It’s just not very Christmassey, is it? Why RATM didn’t do the sensible thing and get a bit festive - by adding a cherubic children’s choir to the song, maybe some rhythmic sleigh bells, and then replacing that contentious fuck-filled refrain at the end with the far more seasonal “Ho ho ho, I won’t do what you tell me” - is beyond me. I bet Zack De La Rocha would look lovely in a Santa hat or comedy reindeer horns, too.
A looped online recording of Sailing By, followed by the Shipping Forecast, so you can listen all day, every day. If you want to. Which I think I do. [Warning: please don’t tune in if you happen to be operating industrial machinery, as it may induce drowsiness. Also best avoided if you need the forecast for genuine seafaring purposes, since you’re only ever going to get the outlook for Tuesday 24th February this year, which might be rather pointless in mid-December.]
Possibly the most ridiculous headline ever. Never believe a minicab driver when he tells you that he knows a few good shortcuts. Never believe a minicab driver when he tells you that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction that could launch a chemical attack on UK targets within 45 minutes.