February 2009
89 posts
“If [they] demand you use a given product … remove the highway flare you carry in...”
– Extremely wise words about the new media jobs market from ANYWAYS.US
“Whenever I take a drink of something, I make the satisfied ‘ahhh’...”
– i am neurotic » beverage commercial
Attack of the nipple
I lay in bed for an hour and a half, doing nothing but staring at the ceiling above my head. I decided to stay there until the flat mass of concrete covering me from all known weather conditions slowly descended, shuddering and grinding like some industrial plunger, and thus allowed me to kiss and suckle the small white nipple that appeared to be forming in the plaster and paint. A nipple, yes....
“Meanwhile, the fastest-changing words are projected to die out and be replaced...”
– BBC News: ‘Oldest English words’ identified
fuguestate: Subversive daydream tactics →
I am back at work on Monday. I may write these rules on a piece of paper as a survival guide. Or, you know, just etch them into my heart with a rusty blade.
“When I was at college, my friend’s landlord was our drinking partner for a...”
– Hydragenic | Worm Blindness
“On arrival all parents who objected to Cerrie Burnell’s appointment will...”
– Satan makes room for parents who complained about disabled TV presenter
All online data lost after internet crash →
After this morning’s Gmail service outage (thanks for your concern, but I managed to survive - just), this will surely be the next event to send the worldwide community of geeks into some kind of gibbering, hyperventilating meltdown.
“Social network sites risk infantilising the mid-21st century mind, leaving it...”
– Facebook et al risk ‘infantilising’ the human mind
Google users hit by mail outage →
This morning, I feel a little like I’m starring in one of those grim and grainy government information advertisements of the 1980s, warning against the dangers of heroin:
“Gmail? Yeah, I can ‘andle it. I’m not an addict or nuffink. I mean, y’know, if I can’t get ‘old of my Gmail supply, I’ll cope.”
And then the camera moves in for the...
Coos, doges, draft curry, and clotted cream dot... →
I am in awe. This is the post of the week, without question. And I am not being sarcastic, either. In honour of Ty Bluesmith’s entry, I have decided to spend the next seven days speaking only The American. cough Yo, dude. Check it.
Strange cover version of the day: Oasis’...
One-armed presenter is scaring children, parents... →
This makes me more determined than ever to get that dream job presenting Blue Peter, and then to regularly flash my mechanical knee at the unsuspecting kiddies.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-2-22) →
The National (14)
The Panics (4)
Lambchop (4)
Galaxie 500 (3)
My Bloody Valentine (3)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
On waking up, shooting upwards, spewing forth
There’s a nightmare hidden in every line of every song
My dark-eyed, bloody-browed visions lurk in the pits
With skeletons in every cupboard, every drawer
Strange cover version of the day: seminal...
Kick over the traces
Today. Today is when I look at yesterday and drag my heels across the ground, seeking to gather the dust and the dirt beneath my feet. Then, just maybe, I can kick over the traces of all that was done in the name of communication, in the name of my obsessive need to constantly submit to the word.
But everything here and there and everywhere is pristine white. And I don’t have the...
Wordie: Out to Sea →
A list of wonderful way-out words about ships and the sea. For the purposes of sailing, not drowning, I presume.
The slither starts here
I am swaying through my own sickening slo-mo, falling out of wakeful dreaming into shivering and palpitating. This is my nauseous freefall into even more awake. I am numb, stupefied, staring: watching the silvery slither break through the washed-out blue of my window, whilst wondering what I did, why I did it, and whether I can take it all back. I seep ugliness onto the clean sheets, then feed on...
Soft Cell: Down in the Subway -...
Guidance for promoting good business relationships: do not react to the phrase “let’s sanity check this idea” by sticking a rusty fork in the offender’s forehead. That might give the impression that you need your sanity checked, too.
Online networking 'harms health' →
Apparently, social networking sites could harm health because they reduce levels of face-to-face contact. Sounds perfect to me. Please send even more disastrous health issues this way. Thank you.
“Fuck. I can’t take another presentation delivered in corporate speak....”
– Internet Addiction Word Therapy: It is 923 am Wed morning
I have been thinking about the phrase ‘fingernail grip on reality’. I have been thinking that my fingernails hurt from all that gripping. I have been thinking that I might just leave them on the edge of this precipice, digging in for dear life, and plunge. If anybody would like my fingernails, you will find them at the top of the cliff.
Strange cover version of the day: US country-ish...
For the past three weeks, I feel like I have been living in my own Draft Items folder. I could just delete everything, of course. Or I could press Send. But no, I think I’ll just keep everything here. Why change the habit of a lifetime?
Strange cover version of the day: American chamber...
Sometimes you feel that you have
All the wrong sort of air in your lungs
And you just want to cough it up.
Heart pill to banish bad memories →
Can I have seventeen packets, please, and a repeat prescription for the next forty years? Thank you.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2009-2-15) →
Snowman (9)
Gang of Four (5)
The New Pornographers (3)
The National (2)
Duels (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
I am under here somewhere
I am. I know that much. I may not know much else. But I know that much. I am trying not to exist. I have slipped into the gaps between living and breathing, where there is only silence. I need repetition, repetitive tasks. I have, as I often do at such moments, immersed myself in mindless coding. I love the smell of the scientific rationale on my fingers. Open tag, close tag. PHP and CSS and JPG...
Gang of Four: Anthrax - “Love crops up quite...
Spam email of the day #3
“Your shaft will look like a skyscraper.” Hmm, I don’t like the sound of this. After all, I still remember what happened to the World Trade Center. (What? Too much bad taste? Oh, never mind then.)
Spam email of the day #2
“Get yourself the breast of your dream via Quick Bust.” Presumably called ‘quick’ because, judging from the subject line, you only get the one breast. Coming soon, ‘Slightly Slower Bust’ in a special two-for-one offer.
Spam email of the day #1
“Rule her garden with your snake.” Sorry, I can’t right now. I am too busy taming her window box with my trowel.
