Silly question. Of course they do. Unlike in my working life, where it has become increasingly apparent that the coalition government wants me to keep working until my last dying breath at three score and ten so that they don’t have to endure me being a strain upon the nation’s meagre coffers, I actually took early retirement from writing at the age of 38, much to the relief of the guardians of the English language and the protectors of the humble metaphor.
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The text above is the entirety of a spam email I received today. I wish all my spam email was this engaging. It’s almost poetry. Or perhaps a Beckett monologue. I wish I’d written it.
“I have a negative urge to procreate. I have the urge to kill other people’s children. I have a long-established phobia of children. They actually terrify me.”—Stephin Merritt of The Magnetic Fields [via]
Julian Cope and his wife are writing a blog “commemorating culture heroes and excavating world events.” I am, admittedly, something of a Cope fan, but objectively this is still a brilliant and very informative read.
“There is one stark symbol of how unjust the response to this economic disaster caused by bankers is. They have just paid themselves £7bn in bonuses – much of it our money – to reward themselves for failure. That’s the same sum Osborne took from the benefits of the British poor yesterday, who did nothing to cause this crash. And he has the chutzpah to brag about ‘fairness’.”—Johann Hari: A colder, crueller country – for no gain
“This sounds snobby, but in the Tory party - Jeremy Hunt and Ed Vaizey - they know about art. I’m having lunch with them; they’re in touch with artists.”—Tracy Emin shows why she should stick to art and not get involved in politics. She may also like to reconsider her opinion of those lovely, warm and cuddly Tories tomorrow, when they rip the heart out of the UK’s culture budget as part of the Spending Review.
“David Cameron even makes patriotic, tearjerking speeches to ‘stir a spirit of national unity and resolve’, as if this were a giant episode of Children in Need. Give up your pocket money for Bankers in Need. BIN, I think, is a handy acronym. Come on, families! Join in, jobless! Wheel this way, disabled folk! Let’s all gather together and throw our money towards the BIN!”—Watch Nick Clegg’s lips? I’d rather not | Victoria Coren | The Observer
“Tell David Cameron that if he screws up my beloved NHS I’ll come back and bloody haunt him.”—I’m pretty much ambivalent about the death of agony aunt Claire Rayner, to be honest. But her ‘last words’ are priceless. I hope they haunt David Cameron, even if the woman who spoke them doesn’t get round to it.
I wouldn’t criticise the response of London Underground supervisors during the attacks on 7 July 2005, because it was an unprecedented and shocking series of events. However, the somewhat Keystone Cops approach displayed in these calls does make for some desperately uncomfortable listening.
He’s not wrong, of course. They are. I’ve been inadequate for ten years. However, the most amusing item in this story is that The Guardian chose to illustrate it with a photo of Andrew Marr - someone whose face might already be described as “interesting” - looking uncannily like ET. Now that’s just cruel.
This is hilarious. In 2010, it’s almost unbelievable to me that journalists and others are STILL sitting round in panel debates, pontificating over questions such as what is blogging? what’s the relationship between traditional and new media? and, of course, that hoary old chestnut, is blogging journalism?
I’ve been “blogging” - for want of a better term - for one week short of ten years, while blogs in some shape or form have been around since 1999. I clearly remember these exact questions being self-importantly discussed in 2003 or 2004. So are we still turning them over in 2010?
Indeed, I was under the impression - one backed up by the enormous and ever-growing number of dormant blogs I see scattered across the net - that the debate had rather moved on to the equally self-important question of: is blogging dying?
I love it when journalism has its finger on the pulse. Coming up next week, join us for a round table discussion of the vexed question: are guns dangerous?