You’ve always wanted to know about my Twitter philosophy, haven’t you? SAY YES, YOU BASTARDS. Well, that’s good. Because Ani Smith from We Who Are About To Die asked me about it. About Twitter. And my philosophy. Er, that’s my philosophy of Twitter. Not just philosophy in general, you understand. Freed of the shackles of 140 character tweets, it would appear that I twatted endlessly.
Now, go and click and read like the good tumblr users you are, then follow me on Twitter if you like bad-tempered, passive-aggressive, misanthropic statements at irregular intervals.
Oh dear. Now I can’t help but think of Aung San Suu Kyi going slightly stir crazy under house arrest while listening to the inanities spouted by the disc jockey who, hilariously, called himself “the hairy cornflake” because he had lots of hair and a beard. Did she perhaps play along with his radio quiz Give Us A Break (AKA ‘snooker on the radio’)? Did she maybe try and call in under an assumed name - “Hi Dave, yes, I’m, erm, Doris. From Burma. Er, Burma? Did I say Burma? I meant Birmingham. Yes, that’s right, Birmingham” - to take part in the quiz? Were there times, during her moments of deepest desperation, when she would walk round and round in circles murmuring “Quack Quack Oops! Quack Quack Oops! Quack Quack Oops!” under her breath, until she had to be physically restrained and shot full of tranquilisers?
(Note: None of these cultural references will mean a thing to you unless you happened to endure an emotionally scarred childhood in the 1980s, during which you were forced to listen to DLT’s Saturday morning show on BBC Radio 1.)
“I’m afraid this is why, as a taxpayer, I’d far rather my money went towards funding the pensions of five thousand transgender binmen Christmas party liaison officers than a single MP slithering round the Palace of Westminster working out how to combine shilling for a defence contractor with gaming the John Lewis list for a Waterford crystal grapefruit bowl and a fully funded mortgage on either their own second home or that of their ducks. At least the liaison officers restrict themselves to one job.”—Marina Hyde: Odd how little Francis Maude talks about rhodium-plated pensions | The Guardian
Today, we’re so used to the internet that we take it far too lightly and seem to just assume that it’s always been there. It hasn’t. Each of us had our moment where we first ‘got’ the web and really understood its potential. That’s what these ‘first net’ stories are all about. I’ve contributed mine. You should too.
I particularly liked: “The 11th principle is that it’s ‘internet’ not ‘Internet’. We capitalize technology when it’s new and scary. It’s time to decapitalize it, just like radio, newspaper, and television.”
“Government badly needs to hear just how much plain fear there is around such questions at present. It isn’t enough to respond with what sounds like a mixture of, “This is the last government’s legacy,” and, “We’d like to do more, but just wait until the economy recovers a bit.” To acknowledge the reality of fear is not necessarily to collude with it. But not to recognise how pervasive it is risks making it worse. Equally, the task of opposition is not to collude in it, either, but to define some achievable alternatives. And, for that to happen, we need sharp-edged statements of where the disagreements lie.”—