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Gobbets brutally and hastily ripped from the foul, rotting carcass of the internet. Placed here for the use, misuse and general abuse of rabid web scavengers. Brought to you by the disastrous and pitiful mind behind An Unreliable Witness.

A banker, a Daily Mail reader and a benefit claimant are sitting at a table sharing 12 biscuits. The banker takes 11 of them and then says to the Daily Mail reader, “Watch out for the welfare scrounger, he wants your biscuit”.

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